(Be forewarned, the first item is quite nasty. -ed.)
NO MORE INDIANS
Gen. Custer was interviewed by the editor of a Toledo paper recently, and is reported as saying, apropos of the mention of Gen. Sherman for the Presidency:
“As for Sherman’s Indian policy when elected, there would be one grand Indian war and then there would be no more Indians. It would settle the Indian question beyond the tomfoolery of Quakers and sentimentalists, who don’t seem to know that every Indian everywhere is simply a brute. You can’t civilize an Indian any more than you an teach a rooster to lay goose-eggs.”
(Gen. Custer would be killed approximately four months later at the Battle of Little Big Horn. And good riddance. –ed.)
—A Boston family has a remarkably intelligent parrot, which repeats nearly everything it hears, and which some bad boys had taught to swear awfully. It finally did little talking except for a profane character, and, to cure its propensity was repeatedly soused in cold water and placed near the stove to dry. During a recent storm, some chickens, which had become very wet and chilled, were brought into the house to revive them. It so happened that the parrot had just been ducked himself, and, after surveying the chickens for some time, he cried out in oracular tones: “Little d——fools been swearing!”
The United States Senate has voted to reduce the President’s salary one-half. Will Congressmen now go ahead and vote to reduce their own salaries in the same way?
The Massachusetts Senate has adopted, by a vote of 18 to 10, an amendment to the State constitution conferring on women the right to suffrage. (Mass. women did not get the right to vote until passage of the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution in 1920. —ed.)
The Cincinnati Enquirer predicts that the Republicans will carry Connecticut as they have carried New Hampshire, The Enquirer displays rare wisdom for Democratic newspaper.
OBTAINING GOODS UNDER FALSE PRETENSES. — A popular and well known citizen of Sauk Rapids steppe into Boyd’s grocery store yesterday afternoon with a borrowed baby, passing it off as his only child. The good natured grocer admired the little creature, patted it under the chin and loaded it down with oranges, apples, nut and candy. Two hours later the bogus father, minus the baby, was moving around his native village peddling the same goods at greatly reduced prices, making about 53 cents by the operation. For further particulars ensure of “Our Ben.” (He made about $15 in current money. -ed.)
Messrs. John Cooper and Ole Peterson started from here, just before the snow storm, in a two-horse express wagon. They were caught at Litchfield, from which place they drove through to Sauk Centre one day, their horses being sometimes almost lost to night in the show drifts. They are inclined to think that the next time they go sleighriding it won’t be on wheels.
Last Friday was St. Patrick’s day, and as such was duly observed by a number of the most prominent Sons of Erin in our city. In the evening ex-Mayor Boyd, himself direct from the county of Cork, gave a supper in honor of the day. In the procession were noticed such distinguished Irishmen as Michael Colins, of Tipperary; Timothy Spencer, of Donneybrook (sic); Teddy Austin, of Kilkenny; Dennis O’Kingsbury, of Dublin; and others, each with a green ribbon in hand and a sprig of shillalah tied in the button hole of his coat. They had a “perfectly illegant” time.
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